Day 17 Swelling up

I have been having a very swollen feeling and the ankles swelled up over the past 2 days, at first I thought “oh no its my kidney” but then I suspected that there might be Ibuprofen in the sleeping pills (I seem to alergic to Ibuprofen) so I stopped taking them the past 2 nights and just added another Paracetamol to help me sleep.
My ankles are now back to normal, the bloated feeling has gone and I have lost some weight so I seem to be right.
I will tell the Doctor on Monday.
Yesterday was such a lovely sunny day again so after pottering about and tidying up we set off for a round walk to the beach with Louis.
I took my trekking stick and found after about a quarter of a mile my legs were feeling tired so I used the stick for balance and yes it worked and I got along better.
My brother will be pleased as it was a present from him.
We had a lovely walk and the tide was nearly in, so it was a very pleasant sight, looking out to sea to Sheppey and the Essex coastline.
The wind farm was gleaming in the sunshine and little sailing boats skimming along, all added to a pleasant picture.
I never regret moving down to Seasalter when we retired in 2000 as it has been the best decision we ever made.
Whitstable is so oldie worldly and Seasalter is very Quaint as the salt marshes have never changed.
My breathing was fine and I got stronger as we got along, it made my day when we completed the walk and I know I can still do it, be it a lot slower now.
Louis walked right round so well behaved, no pulling, no digging his heels in to turn back, so it really is me he wants when Ray takes him and he just wants to come back.
He walked past other dogs and he didn’t bark once– I wish my neighbour could see him so well behaved as she thinks he is so uncontrollable, as for some reason he always barks at her.
Back indoors we had a coffee and I sat down and watched telly, resting and dropped off for a cat knapp, woke up very refreshed and exercised.

I cooked the dinner, watched the soaps, sat in the den and answered my emails etc etc and answered phone calls from my son and a couple of friends.
At almost 10pm we took the dog for his last walk around the park and then got ready for bed, another full day had passed and I soon dropped off to sleep.

Day 16 All is very Quiet

Yesterday was a very quiet day really one where I got up, just stayed on the Computer, answered my emails, wrote my blog, spoke to friends on Face book and MHFacts.
Sat in my dressing gown until 12.30pm, had a shower and went to Canterbury to get Ray a new Electric razor.
Came home and pottered about again on the Computer,as Ray has been very busy building a new web site for the MCC Kent Group so I stayed in the Den with him.
Spoke to friends on the phone and cooked a Shepherds pie, Jacket Potatoes and cabbage for dinner.
I feel so lacking in exercise though that I’m going to try to walk the dog on a round walk to the beach today as I’m eating very well and the weight has gone up.
I feel though that when I’m bad next week and I wont eat as well then I have weight to loose and so I wont look skinny.
What a way to diet!!!

My dear neighbour Des has had his heart Operation so I called in as we walked the dog at 9.14pm last night and his wife said he was through ok but on life support so that is such good news.
We had been in tears together when I was going for my first Chemo –he wished me luck and I wished him luck (as he had just heard he was going to Saint Thomas.s for his op) and we hugged one another in tears.
Well done Des now make a full recovery quickly.

Louis walked by my side so well you wouldn’t think he was so naughty when Ray takes him and digs his heels in still,
To get back to me.
One thing that Ray has manage though and that’s to get him to sit at the kerb and come when crossing the road.
He is such an obedient dog with us but there are still people that he barks at but we will keep trying and training.

Ray carried on working on his new web site and we went to bed at 11.30pm so as I said a very quiet day.
Its only 5.30 now so I don’t know what today will bring–I’m not in much pain –just a slight tinge in the back and the left shoulder nags a bit but sitting here my breathing is very good as its not until I move about that it Is any different, but everyone keeps saying how well I look so that’s good.

Well I will sign off and hope all my cancer friends have had a better day to –keep smiling though. xx

day 15 the little mouse came to visit.

We had a great drive up to Gillingham Savacentre and wandered about shopping –bought all my Christmas presents and a lot of wine and food that we have at the seasonal time of year.
Had a coffee and then put everything into the car came back and sat on a seat waiting for Martin and Pam to arrive.
When they did we went up to the restaurant and choose our food and sat down to a good talk about everything —like you do.
It is so hard for him but if I keep talking honestly then he will gradually be able to accept my going bit by bit. He keeps saying, as so many do “you look so well” and my answer is always the same –its whats going in on inside and they cant stop that.
I know Im not so fit and I couldnt run for a bus so I can see the deteriation going on.
It was all to soon time come home so we said our good byes and journeyed back to Whitstable but it had been a perfect day out.
Martin has given me one of those walking sticks, look’s like the ones when you ski, so that I don’t look like an old lady with a walking stick but a modern chick.
It will help me keep my balance when I’m having Chemo again and I get that woozy feeling.
I will certainly use it.
When we got home and was unpacking the shopping, I took the frozen things to put in the freezer in the shed and heard a rustling noise and could see a dear little field mouse had got itself in my folding garden bag, that I keep in the garden and it was trying to get out.
I looked in and he was so sweet.
Ray wouldn’t let me keep him as a pet and made me let him go and he ran over next’s doors bless!!!
A little later when I took the dog to the garden Louis chased one all up the garden path and out the gate–I do hope we are not being overrun by them so I will have to keep an eye out –but field mice do seem different to ordinary ones, as they look more like hampsters.
Well that was my day and it was a really good day just a bit of niggerling pain in my back and short of breath at times but on the whole Im doing good.
Thought I was getting a cold but so far that seems to have eased back today.

Day 14 Out to Lunch with my younger Brother

Day 14 out to lunch with my younger brother

Yes today is a good day as I’m off to Gillingham Savacentre to Lunch with Martin and Pam so I’m looking forward to that.

Well yesterday was a good day even though I was a bit worried about swollen ankles, as I do worry about my Kidney.

This one kidney just mustn’t let me down, Chemo can damage it, but I think its more the fact I sit for hours on this computer talking in Facebook and a forum having good discussion’s and sending emails to all my friends

Have woken up and they have gone down so the Kidney is working ok and think it might be due to lack of exercise.

So I will try and do more walking as I know Louis will appreciate that.

I did tidy the house, more washing and Hovering (Louis hair is very long and being a cross jack he is always Moulting)

I had a great idea of cutting an Antique table down to make a coffee table so Ray did that for me and we now have a grand coffee table.

He went to get a new shower cabinet but all the doors are on the wrong side so we have to buy one in Gillingham, as he saw just what we want at Screwfix

You may be wondering why all the new furniture, why all the decorating, when we have so much on our mind, well I will tell you.

We had friends, the wife was dieing of cancer and when we went to visit her she was in bed, I know it was a lot of work for the husband but we are talking of years of lazyness.

The house was a tip, no decorating done, dirty kitchen where you could see through broken floor boards and into the cellar.

Her clothes were shoved under the bed and to be honest I was pleased when she went to a Hospice to die, in clean sheets and a decorated tidy room.

When I was diagnosed Ray and I had the vision of our friend’s death, but also Ray wanted me to have anything I wanted and has worked so hard to that effect.

Like the table, one mention that it would make a lovely coffee table and –wham I get a coffee table.

I wanted an Otterman bed –wham that’s what I got.

It means all the Parkhome is how I want it and Ray wont have to touch it for years.

I walked the dog around for the first time on my own yesterday and he loved it, came back and cleaned the front room windows for Ray as its nice for him to have this rest period where life seems almost normal again.

I met a neighbour who questions that is having Chemo the right thing to do, is it worth being made ill and wasting what time I have left.

I can only say to her I have to try, some people have lived a good few years more by having Chemo.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if it shrunk the Tumour that is playing up so it gave me 2 years extra upping my odds to 4 years.

I live in hope that in that time a cure comes to the fore— every day is a bonus.

I cooked dinner again last night, Gammon Steak’ tomatoes and Jacket Potato. We finished the Apple pie and had Icecream

I’m drinking coffee again so proving my tummy is settled, so I’m happy with that.

I had a great chat with my dear friend Carol last night (my mad Scottish Cyber friend) and she works in the Lab of a hospital and sometimes looks at the biopsies of Mesotheloma Patients.

She has to use a stain, a perls Prussian blue which stains asbestos fibres blue

They look like a wee dumbell.

It would seem though that it is rare.

I hope she will comment on here and tell us more.

I’m off now to get ready and I’m going to have a great day out.

Day 13 Shattered so made it a A relaxing day

Yesterday was a good day.
I was shattered from all the fun of the Rally, so I thought it best to make it a relaxing day and that’s just what I did.
I did the washing and got that out on the line hoovered through and that was it.
We had a light lunch of jacket potatoes and I had cheese, Ray had beans.
Went onto the settee and slept for 2 hours.
Ray said he kept coming in and looking at me, but I never even heard him.
I got the washing in and then cooked us Chicken and chips and baked a lovely apple pie to have with Icecream.
So even Ray has had a good rest from running the house.
He has been busy setting up a new web site for the MCC Kent Group’ which they are over the moon with’ and Ray is so proud he has been asked to do it, as it is a release from thinking about me and my illness.
But to put the icing on the cake they have asked me to be the scribe for Kent MCC.
That was a shock, but boy did that boost me, that they havent written me off as an invalid and they have given me a future and made me feel useful.
A friend in Ross-on Wye has invited me and my dear friend Bill to visit her in Jan so that has gone on the diary as we have worked out my good days (goodness knows what Louis is going to make of 9 show dogs though, I bet he chases them and get them all muddy, when we go on a country walk in Jan.
I have had so many people offer their drives for us to park the Motor Home, bless then all, but I might just take the offers up.
I must get to Ireland and Sotland that really is the plan for next year.
It is good to plan it takes your mind off the illness and you have a positive mind then.
Ray has to go to the Diabetic clinic today so I will stay here and potter about and lets see what today is going to be like as the dreaded Wed 4th is getting nearer to the 2nd chemo day.