A quiet Sunday, my days are going past and Im in a quiet mood, yes me ! who has always been the noisy one but Im wrapped up in my thoughts!
Thoughts of fear and what will the chemo be like, will it work, or will my result in the next scan be the awful news it is still growing and will it take over my lung completely.
When I went on Facebook I read that Debbie was feeling the same as well -it is a Meso thing. Or part of the terminal illness’s for all people.
We do feel like we have an alien inside growing and clawing its way all over the lung.
It is the nightmare a living nightmare. A horror film was on when we went to bed and I couldn’t watch it. We use d to love horror films, going to the cinema and pay to be scared out of our lives, Dracula and and all the Hammer House of Horror movies.
Once while watching Peter Cushing in The Abominable Snowman Ray turned his leather glove inside out and with the fur on the outside, he put it on my shoulder , Well I screamed the place down and everyone laughed at me. 1957 such a long time ago now.
Now I cant I can only watch light entertainment.
But I did have a great nights sleep with my tablets they are really working to much though as when I wake up I dont really wont to get up and feel like I have another 2 hours sleep to do.
Ray managed to take the dog out but I didn’t know he was doing an experiment to see when the pain cuts in, silly man it could cause a heart attack. He has been warned it could be the flat liner. It is what happens when a doctor implies he only needs Medication from now on. I keep telling him that is wrong but he is a stubborn man.
I took Louis out in the afternoon and the silly thing wouldn’t go out onto the main road. So I made him and then went down our lane as I know his walks with Ray down there.
We allowed two cars to go by and then walked down the lane. Just before we got to our entrance I went to cross and guess what I fell over.
It really goes into slow motion. My foot isnt in the right place and I just go over but this time across the road. Knocked my glass and went.
I dropped the dogs lead and we looked at one another as I was laying on the ground and he ran and sat on the gutter.
I called to him and he came and sat by me as I got up on my knees and then back on my feet.
Thank God no cars came round the corner.
We carried on walking back to our home making out nothing had happened but got in and then showed Ray all my grazes.
I know I have to have my stick with me I must stop being so stubborn myself.
I sat in my chair all afternoon and Had a couple of cat-naps.
I did cook dinner and Ray walked Louis out.
Roast beef eaten and I made Knickerbocker Glories for sweet very nice.
So that was our Sunday watching the Bafters now.