Living With Mesothelioma -My Diary- Sunday Sulks

Well Sunday is nearly over and finally I have come back from feeling so depressed.

Its not like me and I just cant explain it really. I really don’t know why but I feel depressed, sad and sorry for myself. I have never been here before as I have everything to happy about the Chemo is working and I only have 1 x3 to go .Where is my old confident self gone,  A friend has said on FB  I think I understand, you have gone through lots of Chemo and now your body is telling you to take it easy but the mind does not agree. I found this out with my problems.  She is so right My poor body has taken 4 years of Chemo on and off and a trial drug that didn’t work but did a lot of damage. Cisplatin has been hard on me. So I have to sit back and take the chemo friday week and the next week and then that is it –no more. Then I get a scan and that makes you screw up as you wait for result.

Photo: There are many patients this week having scans or waiting for test results.  Please join me in sharing words of support, hope, and comfort.  I read like it was yesterday when Alan and I both suffered from "scanxiety."

I found a good report from the British Thoracic Society CT scanning should be performed on all patients with undiagnosed pleural exudates.

  • Pleural plaques are indicators of asbestos exposure but are absent in many proven cases of mesothelioma attributable to asbestos fibre.

  • Demonstration of chest wall invasion by either CT scanning or MRI is highly suggestive of malignant rather than benign pleural disease.

I know this is 2001 but it explains more simply and you can always google to get more up to date info. Also I liked how they had worked hard on making sure patients had been given the chance to preread.

The draft was reviewed by the whole membership of the BTS from whom extensive comments were gratefully received. The document was also sent to expert groups and representatives of patients and the government for opinion, and the statement is the result of this consultation process. It is compiled primarily for clinicians who may be involved in the care of patients with mesothelioma, and is based on literature searches and reviews by members of the Working Party responsible for particular sections.

I was given a better link but found it was very over powering for any one that has just been diagnose. As Im on the Cancer Network Team I will find out if this will be done again soon.

I washed the shower plug and pipe today and my hair was all in that and when we go out in the car and I have the window down my hair blows out so some drivers might have to explain why they have long white hairs in their cars.

I have been awake all day and I asked Ray to go with me on a longer dog walk. I was very breathless as we went round in the cooler weather reminding me that winter is on its way and the colder winds are due.

I watched 3 films to keep me in a chair and awake and I cooked the dinner so I have been awake for a day and now my bed is welcoming me so hope you all get a goodnights sleep

Rays Blog



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